Sir Norman Wisdom

Norman's first symptoms of forgetfulness and problems with his memory started many years ago and progressed very gradually.

The early signs of his illness were subtle and were not always obvious, Norman had registered an ‘Enduring Power of Attorney’ in the courts on the Isle of Man many years ago naming his son and daughter as who he wanted to look after his affairs if he became mentally incapacitated.

His wishes were carried out when that Enduring Power of Attorney was granted to his son and daughter in June of 2005.

They did their absolute best to insure that the stress that was present in their father's life at that time was dealt with.

In light of their father’s extreme vulnerability and relative isolation on the Isle of Man they needed somebody they could trust implicitly.

They immediately appointed the very kind and caring Ann Axe, whom Norman had previously employed and who had only left his employment to retire some years previously.

They now knew their father would be safe and lovingly looked after by Ann. She didn’t let them down. Norman and the family will always be indebted to her kindness and dedication for stepping in to assist the family’s objective of keeping Norman in ‘Ballalaugh’ the house that he loved, for as long as it were beneficial for him to remain there.

We knew little of this condition at this time and often felt isolated, confused and disempowered. What we did know was that Alzheimer’s is incurable.

We didn’t know when or what to expect as the symptoms can vary greatly between different people. This was out of our experience and we had a lot to learn. We thought with patience and understanding and a little logistical tweaking we could cope with this privately. This wouldn’t impact greatly on Norman’s or our lives. How utterly naive that now sounds.

He started to forget the names of people he knew well. He would use the wrong words; he did not notice for example he was calling his keys his spoons.

I gave him his breakfast once and he asked where’s the window was? Perplexed, I pointed to the window just in front of him. No, the window he repeated. I knew then I must have forgotten something and not wanting to draw attention to his error, I went through the check list in my mind; cornflakes, milk, bowl, newspaper, ah no sugar, I put the ‘window’ within his reach and resumed as we were.

One of the hardest things for Norman to adjust to was the cessation of his driving.

His driving licence was withdrawn by the Department of Transport in September 2005 after he failed a driving test.

The medical concern was that his cerebral changes might be causing some difficulties with his driving ability which can often be the case and which is usually a problem which is not evident to the person who is suffering from dementia.

This condition can cause impairment in memory, orientation and other aspects of driving by a number of mechanisms. The main one is that the brain’s ability to carry out the rapid calculations needed to judge distances, speeds and time is impaired. Sadly, he had become a danger to himself and everyone else on the road.

Norman never got over this. He never forgot his cars and driving them. He did forget though that he had been banned and would argue most vociferously that he could drive to anybody brave enough to talk on the subject.

He took to searching the house almost obsessively for his keys. Ann had to call the police on several occasions as so strong was his desire to drive he could become quite animated about it.

He really didn’t believe he was banned and because of his now impaired understanding we were unsuccessful in trying to explain in simplistic language the reason why. It would take many hours of placating him, encouraging him that the alternative of being driven by us was a bonus as he could now appreciate the beautiful country side of the Island without having to concentrate on the traffic. He would get confused, we would get confused and we would all end up exhausted.

I remember he ripped the pocket of his friend Malcolm’s jacket, there was an altercation with both parties equally determined to retain Norman’s car keys. It ended only when Malcolm fled the house with said keys still in his possession, When Jaqui and I were on the Island he tricked her onto allowing him to sit in the car then putting the key in the ignition. She went along with it believing his assertion that he only wanted to sit in the car.

I was in the house; I could hear the horn of his car constantly being blown. Going outside to see what the fuss was about I was confronted with Norman wrestling Jaqui for the car keys.

The sharpness of the edge of the keys had cut into his hand and there was blood was all over the garage floor, something he was oblivious to.

My screams of ‘this is you daughter Stop, Stop’ I believed he didn’t really grasp at that moment who she was. This eventually calmed this potentially dangerous situation going any further. We both knew the possible consequences to him and others if he took the car.

The keys after that were kept at the police station for Norman's safety.

On the strength of professional advice from his Consultant Psychiatrist the cars were removed as soon as he went on holiday so as to cause him the lease amount of stress.

Due to his illness he had no memory of these events; his mental impairment meant he was now incapable of understanding even in the most simplistic of explanations.

It was excruciatingly sad to witness the bewildered look on his face, the confusion, the anger and for our part the guilt at being the enforcers of this insidious embargo.

We reached the best compromise we could by now taking over the driving for Norman. Both Ann and I every day would take him out for two to three hour drives. I treasure those days on the Island. We would take off in the little KA and poodle around the beautiful country roads of the Isle of Man.

We both love looking at houses and would stop and discuss the merits of every property; the conclusion on every occasion would always be the same 'nice’, but Ballalaugh is nicer'!

I so loved being in his company, he always made me laugh; he was just an older version of my husband. I knew I was experiencing some of the last moments of his recognition of his surroundings and latterly me; any prolonged departure on his daily routine would relegate me to anonymity in his mind.

Our little hero was being morphed from confidant, gregarious, witty and vivacious to taking on a whole new persona we didn’t recognise.

He sometimes became compliant (not a trait one would ever associate with Norman) he needed reassurance and now appeared to be uncomfortable at being the centre of attention.

Like many stars he did enjoy the appreciation of his many fans but started to struggle if people mention his films as his recollection of being an actor was now sporadic and he could became confused and agitated afterwards.

In the summer of last year the family knew they had to acknowledge and act upon that the time had come for the need of people with experience and knowledge of this complex condition to care for him, In order to give him the most affective care.

They found an exceptional nursing home on the Isle of Man which is a family run business. Norman enjoys many of the daily activities there. He is also taken on a daily car drive around his beloved Island.

I applaud the dedication and patience of the staff. They treat all their residents with dignity, respect and kindness.

He has settled well and is very much loved there by everyone.

So in that respect in Norman’s own words is a “happy little devil”

Kim Wisdom